Diary of a
By Ayesha Sandra Lee
Well, I'm back. Back from where? From about one hundred weddings and, though I jorunalled, not a word has been shared beyond my scribbles on paper. Most often, I write about a wedding right after it's over. Some weddings are like epic adventures that I find my self transcribing long before the wedding day.
During the one hundred plus weddings, I was also moving my home and office. Somehow, I managed to never show up at a wedding in overalls, toting packing tape and carrying boxes. But, I didn't manage to get my wedding adventures out on the World Wide Web.
Today, I would like to talk about people who find their true loves through matchmaking services, usually on the internet. It's been a revelation. When I started Merry Maui Weddings, early in the millennium, no one would admit that they met through a matchmaking service. I know, because I usually ask couples how they met. I always find their answers fascinating, not just the stories themselves, but the expressions on their faces as they recount their experiences.
A few years ago, the occasional couple, with shy, downcast looks and red faces, would admit that they had met on the internet. They would exchange embarrassed expressions, as they looked at me to read my response. I always congratulated them, wholeheartedly.
When I was a child, infused with romantic fantasies (as in unrealities), I had thought matchmaking unromantic. But, now, having experienced the painful inadequacy of surface attraction to sustain many marriages, I have become an advocate, and so have many others.
Matchmaking, I have learned, is as old as marriage, itself. It used to be the dominion of wise elders, who knew everyone in the village. Or perhaps, seers with special psychic abilities to perceive who would be right for whom, would take on the job. (For an example of that type, see the entertaining movie, “The Matchmaker.”)
Nowadays, most people use services, such as eHarmony.com or match.com. They fill out extensive profiles of their selves, and the computer, assisted by professionals, does the matching. It seems to me they do a great job. For now, about 1 in 4 couples proudly proclaim that this is how they met. Internet matchmaking seems to have become extremely acceptable in just two to three years.
What I notice is that these couples are nearly always really happy, comfortable and confident in their relationship. They don’t seem to be as prone to last minute doubts or hysteria as couples who met conventionally. I will not even attempt to understand how this is true.
I am not knocking love at first sight (that’s how I met my husband and it has worked out, wonderfully). I do see now that taking the time to decide what you want in love, putting it out there consciously and expecting to receive it leads to another kind of miracle. I see that matchmaking makes people radiantly happy and brings us lots of wedding business.
Until next time, Ayesha.
Where does love come from?
Not the heart or mind,
But the indwelling divine.
To view past journal entries, click here.
© 2007 Ayesha Sandra Lee – On Doves’